gettin a cops phone number

yo whaddup its f-close frank. check this out i got pulled over by the cops. guess if you black out at a red light &it turns green before you wake up get pulled over even if you arent drivin any where. shit is hella gay

anyway got pulled over the cop was a chick and sorta hot hell yeah but for real she was bein a bitch. shes all ‘whaddup frank check this out. do you know why i pulled you over.” im all like ‘prob cuz you herd im a legit PUA” shes all “is that coke on youre nose”   im all ‘hell no what is coke but check this out do you have fake tities”

shes all ‘i am a offiser of the law but yes they are fake i just got em done’ boom pretty soon i got that number son plus she forgot to arrest me

for real tho remember not to black out when youre drivin to youre dealers house

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hittin on chicks with the 3 second rule

yo whaddup its f-close frank. check this out since its saterday heres a Game chalenge for when your out partyin later.

ok the 3 second rule is the rule where if yo u see a chick w/fake tities you got 3 seconds to go up &get her to show you the tities. you gotta do it in 3 seconds  otherwise you might get AA (aproach anxiety). its hella easy son just go up to a chick &be all “yo whaddup your hella fly but check this out do you have real or fake tities” if you are a legit PUA or she is drunk she will prob just show you the tities esp if you tell her you work for girls gone wild

if you are a regular AFC you might wanna start out in a Strip club until you get used to seein tities tho

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Reader question would you bang a retarded chick

yo whaddup its f-close frank. check this out we got a hella good reader question today its all like “yo whaddup bro would you or dave have sex with a retarded chick.”

both me &dave had sex with hella dumb chicks but never a chick that is acshully retarded. like has those retarded eyes or is really Strong. check this out tho if a retarded chick has fake tities prob would hit it not gonna lie.

dave is still in jail but i talked to him the other day & he was all “bro do you remember stephanie from high school. i banged her a couple of times in the janiters closet after gym class. she was in that speshal needs class but i dont think she was acshally retarded just hella dumb” she didnt even have fake tities but not that  many chicks in High school have fake tities at least not at the high school me &dave went to

so yeah guess we’d both prob bang a retarded chick as long as shes not that retarded

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how to pick up chicks at the beach

yo whaddup its f-close frank. check this out if you are a legit PUA you know the best place to pick up chicks w/fake tities is at the Beach. tities are right there in your face cuz chicks will be wearin bikinis or may be if your at a nood beach then you will get to see tities for free unlike at a Strip Club where you gotta pay to see tities. anyway chicks are hella horny at the beach so get that pussy son.

ok heres what you gotta do playa

1. live near the beach. if you dont live near a beach youre fuckin up son. make shure its a good beach like miami has not some shitty beach like in fuckin massachusits or some shit. if you got a shity beach you got ugly chicks thats math son
2.if you dont live near the beach move some where that has a beach
3. now that your at the beach you gotta be lookin good hit the gym so chicks know your legit. insted of basketball shorts wear some swim shorts. since you are at the beach you dont gotta wear dunks tho just rock flip flops but ONLY at the beach otherwise that shit is hella gay

4. ok now you need some good openers. try this shit “yo whaddup its f-close frank (or whatever your name is) check this out your tities are gettin hella sun burned im a profeshonal sun tan loshun dude so lemme put some loshun on your tities.” this works cuz if a chick has fake tities she probly cant feel if shes gettin a sun burn.

after you do the loshun on the tities move all you gotta do is bust out your flask w/beach whiskey &get drunk with the chick its hella Romantic. pretty soon your gettin that pussy shit works every time son

for real tho dont be a fag check out the beach

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why you should go to a Gay Bar

yo whaddup its f-close frank. check this out one of the easiest places to get that pussy is in a Gay Bar. your probably thinkin “bro check this out isnt a Gay Bar full of people who are  Gay.’ the answer is yes theres hella gay dudes that s/ why you wanna check it out.

heres why

1.gay dudes dont want any pussy they just want to get that dick which is hella easy you got no competition playa.
2. you can tell which chicks are strait because they look like reguler chicks NOT chicks that play soft ball. if they play soft ball boom they are Gay son dont do it.
3.dudes will buy you hella free drinks thinkin they will get that dick. take advantuge but dont get too wasted otherwise youll wind up like that one time dave got fucked in the ass in jail
5.chicks are like ‘check this out theres no strait dudes we can make out with like any dude &it doesnt matter cuz they are hella gay.” boom you swoop in and start fingerin her on the dance floor while you listen to cher
6. gay dudes are all about coke nobody cares if you do Coke in the bathroom

ok now heres shit you gotta watch out for

1. there is trannys sometimes dont make out with em
2.like i said you might get fucked in the ass if you are too drunk

other than that theres hella Gay Bars in florida check em out son

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bang a single mothers day

yo whaddup its f-close frank. check this out today is mothers day if you are a legit PUA you will all ready know that this is the best day to bang single mothers. heres why

1.they dont have a dad in the house so theyre all “yo wheres dad’
you get to say you fuked a milf hell yeah
2. theylll be lookin for some dick cuz of #1
3.its mad easy son
4.your takin their mind off havin a kid by givin them some dick because havin a kid hella sucks &is boring

im gonna go fuck this stripper that has a kid later get out there get that single mom pussy son. happy single mothers day

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how to have sex with church chicks

yo whaddup its f-close frank. check this out you mite not tknow this but i used to go to church its hella boring. for real tho if your in high school gamin chicks at church is a hella good idea. sucks tho church chicks probly dont have fake tities.

anyway heres how you get that pussy at church. first off sit in the back only fags sit up front same thing when your in school. holla at some chicks when there tryin to find a place to sit. say ‘yo whaddup its f-close frank (or whatever youre name is) check this out youre hella fly but do you want to sit in the back &do some coke off the collection plate. ask jeezis he said its cool” if you drop the jeezis line for real church chicks will be all about doin some coke. even if they dont want to do coke church chicks love a bad boy so youll at least get a hand job for shure.

once you get the hand job tell her that you wanna check out sunday schoool but instead grab her hand (this is calle d bein a leader) &lead her into the broom closet. boom your gettin that pussy son. also make shure you yell out jeezis christ a few times while your bangin otherwise you might get banned from church

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hell yeah check out those church tities

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how to dump a chick without her goin crazy & stealin all your shit

yo waddup its f-close frank. check this out if you are a legit PUA your gonna have to dump a lot of chicks because fuckin the same chick every day gets boring. you gotta be carefull other wise a chick will get all coked out &key the word “frank is a asshole’ on daves car or some shit. daves still pissed not my falt playa she was dumb as fuck besides dave drives a 1992 nissan sentra its a piece of shit anyway.

anyway when your gonna dump a chick DO NOT DUMP HER WHILE SHES ON COKE. like i said she will key daves car. make sure she is not drunk or high but if your gettin dump anxiety (kinda like aproach anxiety ) you can get a little fucked up first. i like to smoke a bowl so im chill.

heres the secret to dumpin a chick hella easy. make shure shes NOT at your house then text her that you have hurpies (even if you dont its ok to lie) garanteed she wont ever come over again unless she says she has hurpies already then you need to get youre dick checked playa.

for real tho dont really get hurpies just to dump a chick

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how to bang a native american chick

yo whaddup its f close frank. check this out last night i banged my first native american chick shit got crazy heres how i did it in case you want to bang a native american chick.

first off native american chicks hate white dudes so your gonna have to get your game on son. get your peecock on with some tradishonal native american bling. the more bling you got on the better native american chicks love that shit espeshully if its gold or dymonds. if you got bling on that makes chicks notice you at the club &tells chicks you got money like a legit PUA be careful tho native american chicks will come up and ask you if you are on disability &want you to buy drinks.  chump move son dont do it

hell yeah this is hella good native American bling

check this out this is hella good native American bling you best be takin notes son

ok next up you gotta open a native american chick this is what i said. “yo whaddup its f-close frank. check this out you got a hella fly weave but are you native american.” she was laugin hella hard which is good cuz chicks love laughin. she’s all “check out this white boy” &i could tell her friends (also native american) are mad jellus. pretty soon im on the dance floor grindin on her big ass native american booty. we started makin out &went to the bath room to do some coke (this also works on japanese chicks) & wound up bangin. bad news tho she had full on national geografic tities shiit was hella gross not gonna lie. anyway got my nateive american chick notch &we got fryed chicken later

hell yeah native american chicks are hella fly

hell yeah native american chicks are hella fly

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sad day for the PUA community DTF dave is in jail again

yo whaddup its f-close frank. check this out last week my boy dtf dave was out sellin weed to some kids no big deal but then he runs in to these chicks with big tities i dunno if they had fake tities but knowin dave probably cuz dave likes big fake tities. dave is slingin mad bags &he’s all “yo whaddup’ to these chicks theyre gettin high boom pretty soon both of them are suckin his dick cuz dave is a legit PUA.  later on were chillin at the pad cops break down the door theyre all ‘yo whaddup dave your supposed to be under arest you fucked up.’

dave is all “check this out bro am i under arrest for bein a legit PUA’ then he hi fived me shit was sick. then the cops beet his ass for a while cuz cops do that shit which you will know if you have ever watched the show cops

then theyre all like ‘check this out you sold these chicks some weed then they sucked youre dick even tho you are a legit PUA but that is against the law in florida boom goin to jail son” 14+14 does NOT equil over 18 in florida so if you get 14 year old chicks to suck your dick after you sold them a bag make shure it is legal first.

anyway dave vialated his probashun and hes back in jail turns out you cant sell drugs when you are on probashun. dont sell to nerds ESPESHULLY if they are from hialeah junior high school they will rat you out hella fast.

if you live in miami &like strip clubs hit me up need a new wingman while daves in jail. no AFCs tho

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