Can you get an STD if a girl farts on you?

every man should have more than one woman just in case one gets put in the hospital for some reason. i currently have three in my stable ready to fuck anytime i want because as i always say a bitch on your nuts is better than two at the bar. WELL I KEEP THEM ALL ON MY NUTS!

but the other day i was banging my main chick and she straight up farts on my dick. at first i thought it was just her ass hair rubbing across the base of my dick, but then i realized it was not butt hair, but actually butt air. i know that she didn’t do it on purpose because she’s usually proper, but AS AN ALPHA MALE its my job to make fun of her.

anyway, a couple of days later my dick started getting all itchy again. so of course i head down to the free clinic and started spitting mad game at the front desk chick.

i get into the dr.s office and i was embarrassed to tell him, but i straight up told him that the chick i was fucking farted on my dick and now it’s itching again. i asked him do i have an Std or what? and he’s all like ‘nah DTF Dave you’re ok it’s probably just a spider bite or a flare up like last time.”  so long story short you cannot get a std if a girl farts on your dick. the worst thing that can happen is the smell or if she poops on you.

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i’m DTF Dave. its all about the dick, so look down to see whats up. stay cla$$y, player.

 

—-twitter is for high school bitches but i got one anyway @bangsomechicks

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