every man should have more than one woman just in case one gets put in the hospital for some reason. i currently have three in my stable ready to fuck anytime i want because as i always say a bitch on your nuts is better than two at the bar. WELL I KEEP THEM ALL ON MY NUTS!
but the other day i was banging my main chick and she straight up farts on my dick. at first i thought it was just her ass hair rubbing across the base of my dick, but then i realized it was not butt hair, but actually butt air. i know that she didn’t do it on purpose because she’s usually proper, but AS AN ALPHA MALE its my job to make fun of her.
anyway, a couple of days later my dick started getting all itchy again. so of course i head down to the free clinic and started spitting mad game at the front desk chick.
i get into the dr.s office and i was embarrassed to tell him, but i straight up told him that the chick i was fucking farted on my dick and now it’s itching again. i asked him do i have an Std or what? and he’s all like ‘nah DTF Dave you’re ok it’s probably just a spider bite or a flare up like last time.” so long story short you cannot get a std if a girl farts on your dick. the worst thing that can happen is the smell or if she poops on you.
i’m DTF Dave. its all about the dick, so look down to see whats up. stay cla$$y, player.
—-twitter is for high school bitches but i got one anyway @bangsomechicks